My story is from London 2008.

In 2007/2008 LP was the cure for ME. “Everyone” recovered. It was something you just had to try.

Forms were filled in and sent to Phil Parker’s own office in London.

I answered honestly to everything and got rejected, I don’t remember if this was by phone or by letter with a subsequent phone call, but I remember the huge disappointment.

The reason for the refusal was that I was sceptical by nature, and didn’t accept truths without checking the facts.

They didn’t want sceptical participants, as this ruined the dynamics of the course.

If I really wanted to attend a course, I had to answer all the questions again, moderate myself, and prove that I was ready for the course.

Already here there were red flags, but I was so desperate to get well, and after all, I wasn’t supposed to be sceptical anymore. The rejection, and having to plead to get in, probably made me extra vulnerable.

The course consisted of indoctrination of “truths”, mass suggestions and self-hypnosis.

I remember thinking that – this is too simple, but I’m not supposed to be sceptical. I was supposed to do happy and healthy. And if I wasn’t happy and healthy, then I did the technique wrong.

The euphoria and revival-feel of the course led to a slight spark of energy, before it ended in a gradual deterioration that I ignored for a very long time. I said “stop”, chose “the life I loved” and did “healthy”, over and over again, with all the bells and whistles.

The intervals with “healthy” became shorter and shorter, and I ended up lying down most of the day. I had to realise that I had been fooled and that I was fooling everyone around me during the short periods I was on my feet.

After this came a wave of shame that I have not yet got rid of. Cognitive techniques (and by that I don’t mean LP) can at best help with accepting the situation you’re in, and to make the best of the life you have been given. But to make the individual responsible for illness and injuries that occur, only makes things worse. No one chooses a life of illness, and everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got.